Losing stuff and I go way back. All my life I have been consistently excellent at one thing, losing stuff, and I’m saying this in the humblest of ways. I am a master at it. I can lose just about anything you could possibly lose, except for, if you saw my title, ounces!
Well,the way it works is that i can lose weight, but the weight somehow finds me again. I currently need to lose two ounces so I can stuff myself back into some pants that aren't stretchy.
Anyway, being a champion at losing stuff comes with another set of, (sort of) related issues. I also have a track record of that everything I ever borrowed gets damaged or lost in some way.
Don't even get me started about borrowing because 100% of the time I've ever borrowed anything from anyone, something always happens to it! But I'm not going to get started on that, so back to my favorite thing to do, well it's not really my favorite but I sure end up doing it quite a bit!
I lose stuff on a daily basis. I lose stuff that I just saw 10 seconds ago. It just disappears into thin air, pretty sure it's never happened to you. I'm just going to own it and chalk it up as a habit, and move ahead with my life. In the meantime, whenever I lose something, as a rule, I have to blame everybody else.
I start wondering now why would Spike use my face cream, when his Doberman coat is so glossy you need sunglasses just to look at him. Must be the fabulous professional serum he uses?
Or, who the heck has my favorite ring? Or did someone in this doghouse eat my ring, as I look at both of my pups side-eyed..?.. or did they pawn it.. am I not feeding them enough?? I’m an inadequate mother, shamed by mom guilt.
They're so picky all Adam and Benji will eat is pizza these days. Don't even get me started on trying to feed pups a good diet when they're always over at the Pug neighbors dog house eating popcorn and drinking vitamin water.
Anyway, after everyone in the entire household is searching high and low for my item, I'm too stressed out so I decide to go to the store to get some chips because stress means I have to stress-eat, so on my way to get my keys out of my purse, lo and behold, there is the item that everyone is scrounging around for right in my purse, right where it belongs.. but of course I'll never tell anyone where I found it.
So proud of myself for actually finding something, a nice balance, BUT now I have to celebrate that I’m not stressed out anymore, and I’m still hungry for chips, so off I go..now who in the heck took my keys!?! $#!T..Bye for now!